wrigley field is MILF paradise
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You can't special order awesome
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
