Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
