Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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