You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize