i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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