Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
