The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize