is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
