I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?