When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.