you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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