If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.