I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
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Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ