The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm too high and old for this...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
