My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
