man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
