It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
