I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
