I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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