You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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