in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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