I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
