I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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