i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sarcasm needs its own font
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
