Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
