Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
