Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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