Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
