How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
