Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
