if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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