Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
