My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
