they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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