I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
