i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize