I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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