You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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