Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
