question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
