God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
