So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
