Whod you bang
either way he was missing a nipple.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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