i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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