I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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