I must be too annoying 4 u.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
