how can u be prego again
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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