I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
