Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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