Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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