After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
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Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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