I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
