I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize