The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
