I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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