YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
