The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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