I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
