Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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