i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
