you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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