Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
