question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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