I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
