I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize